Sleeping is for losers

I wish I was a loser…

I am reorganizing my priorities as if today:

1. Doing anything related to my college applications. And that includes writing my essay(sssss) and studying/taking my SAT (AGAIN ).
2. Doing anything related to school. And that includes studying, doing my homework and working on the 92387492374 projects our school gives us.
3. Exercising.
4. Eating.
5. Blogging.

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300.   Sleeping.

So chances are, if I’m not blogging, I’m not sleeping either.

If anyone has a time machine, can you please lend it to me? I want to fast-forward to January 1. That’s when all this madness ends.

If anyone has a found a way to freeze time, can you please freeze it for three hours a day? That  would make my life so much easier.

If anyone has a cloning machine, can you please take a piece of my hair while I’m sleeping and make about 50 Fatimas? I promise I won’t make them run around town with nothing to do. I have a job for each and every one of them.

January 1. Ask me how all this went then.

TTFN.

Oh my, what an interesting life you have!

I know haven’t blogged in a while but I promise I will try to write at least once every one week.. or two.. or three…

Please note that the keyword here is: try. Being the procrastinator that I am it’ll probably be the third one. But other than procrastinating, coming up with a topic to write about is really hard. I’d sit a whole day thinking about a topic before sitting down and actually writing anything. If you could suggest some topics in the comments section I would be more than grateful!

Anyway, I’m going to keep you up to date with what I’ve been doing these past few weeks:

1. I’ve been exercising! No, that wasn’t a typo. And yes, you read it right. I have finally got off my lazy butt and started moving. I started off with jogging 20 minutes a day for a week. Let me give you a sense of what it was like when I first started jogging. First of all, I have a 90 year old’s body. I mean it. I used to joke about it a lot but now I know it’s true. My back hurts when I stand up for a long time. I get winded just by going up a flight of stairs. At least one thing in my body hurts at any given hour of the day. For example, right now my back and neck hurt. I forget the most basic things. Honestly, I don’t know how I reached senior year. I even forget words while I’m talking, and names.. and faces.. and everything. And I felt like I was going to die after only 5 minutes into my 20 minute jogging session. Literally, die. You know how normal people (not trained athletes) feel after finishing a running marathon? How they can’t breathe and have to rest for a whole day before going back to normal? How they feel like everything they’ve eaten the past week is going to be… erm… recycled? Yeah well, imagine that times 2398749238643287658723465. I was beyond out of shape. I was shapeless. Shape ran far far away from me. Shape was scared from my shapelessness! (I know that doesn’t make sense but it’s my blog and I have the right to write senseless things) After a week of jogging I reduced my body age to 80. And now I am proud to say that this is my 4^th week of jogging. I think I know have a normal 16 year old’s body exercise wise which is great!
2. Baking, baking and some more baking. When we moved to the new house we didn’t have any gas for about a month. So as soon as we got it I started baking daily. I’m on a finding-the-perfect-chocolate-chip-recipe mission. I love chocolate chip cookies but every time I make them I find something wrong about them. I used to either undercook or overcook them before and I thought that was my problem. But even after practicing and cooking them just right I’d still find something wrong with them. I tried all kinds of recipes and almost all of them harden the minute they cool off. I followed recipes step by step and still didn’t get the results they were talking about. Ahh.. What am I doing wrong? Most of them tasted good but that’s it. Just good. I want something that would make even the most will-powered person that’s on a diet take a second one. Anyway, other than trying out dozens of chocolate chip recipes I also made brownies, tarts and attempted to make an ice-cream sandwich. I mistakenly cooked the cookies on something I thought was parchment paper, the supposedly parchment paper was permanently stuck to the cookies. Which was really sad because they smelled great.
3. Studying for the SAT and taking the SAT. Preparing for it was the hard part. I couldn’t sit myself down long enough to study because I’d get easily distracted. Taking the test was okay. I thought it would be worse. I was in the center from 8 to 2 so at the end of it I didn’t really care about how I did. All I wanted to do was go home.
4. Register for the TOEFL test. How cool am I? I’m finally doing the things I was planning on doing all summer! Crossing things out on a to-do list is a great feeling. I’ll be taking the test this Saturday. Wish me luck!
5. I, unfortunately, also started going to school. It has only been 4 days and I already can’t wait for the next summer vacation! Mainly because this one was more than great. I can’t even think of one boring day.
6. I finished the Time Traveler’s Wife, finally! It is a great book. Go out and buy yourself a copy.

I think six things are enough for today.

Also, I realized that there has been an over-all theme in my blog. I write in points. I almost never write paragraphs. I guess I find that easier. That’s fine right?

TTFN.

Some People Are Just That Creative

I found a website the other day that dedicated a whole section to pictures of people showing their furniture before and after they’ve given them a makeover. Here are some of the pictures:

 

Oh, this is ruined. I’ll just throw it away…

 

 

 

Whoa.

 

This is ugly. I’ll just donate it or throw it away or something.

 

 

 

Wait, what?

 

Sometimes, you buy something, and wonder what the heck was I thinking when I bought this?!…

 

 

Now there’s hope for everything.

 

I am definitely showing this one to my mom.

 

 

 

See Mama, breaking all those things was really a… blessing.

 

A little paint and some fabric can go a long way. (You don’t know how much it took me to remember the word “fabric”. Ahh. I need a new brain.)

 

 

 

 Well hellooooo beautiful!

 

A normal suitcase, no?

 

 

Some people are just creative I guess…

 

This reminds me of my Aunt for some reason.

 

 

Paint and fabric. Paint and fabric.

 

Just another headboard.

 

 

Now I know what I’m going to do with my old bed. And not I as in “I’m going to do this with my own hands”, but I as in take it to the carpenter and tell him what to do.  I’m about a 100% sure I’ll lose a hand and a couple of fingers before ever coming close to something like this if I do actually do it with my own hands.

 

 

CREATIVE PEOPLE!

 

 

I would have never in a million years thought of this.

 

Or this…

 

 

Creativity.

 

And here’s one more random picture:

I’m going to live in a house like this. A house with huge windows that allows the sunshine to light up the whole place. And then I’ll buy four lands surrounding it. There’s going to be lots and lots of greenery in the first one. I’ll have to plant it of course. I’ll make sure to plant a peach tree. I don’t like peaches but I’ve always wanted one. The second land will have a mountain in it. So I could go rock climbing and hiking a lot. I don’t really know how that’s going to happen but technology will find a way. The third land will have a flea market, you’re welcome Saudi Arabia. And the last land will have an ocean. I don’t think technology will find a way for this one so I’ll make sure to buy my 5 lands next to one. I won’t buy any furniture too. I’ll just sleep and wake up on the floor, under the huge windows. I don’t think I’ll have any money left to buy any furniture anyways.

Ahhhhh…

 

TTFN.

 

Technologless (It’s a word)

I’ve always thought that I’d die of boredom if I had to stay three days without internet. But I’ve never tried to prove myself wrong or right for one reason: the internet is basically my life. I could stay hours and hours on one website without getting bored.

A week ago, we moved to a new house. The house is located in a new area that doesn’t have phone lines yet. That means we were stuck without internet until God knows when. I dreaded the coming future. They said it may take up to two whole months until the phone lines were all set. But luckily, we found a way to get internet without using the phone lines. And now here I am!

To my surprise, I didn’t get bored last week at all. Au contraire! I actually had fun. I did all sorts of things that filled up my time that I totally forgot about our internet problem.

One of the numerous things that I did was pack. Even though we’ve officially moved to the new place we still had some things to do in the old one. This was my daily routine for about 4 days:

1. Wake up.
2. Go to the old place.
3. Pack and pack and pack.
4. Get back to break our fast.
5. Go back to the old place to pack some more.
6. And then finally, around 2 AM, we get back to our house and sleep.

Fun.

If you ever wanted to torture somebody let them move. Better yet, let them move our house! Our house was like Mary Poppins’ bag. It looks so small yet it fits so much. And the things are never ending. You pack and pack and then look back and feel like you haven’t done anything at all. It will make an optimist a realist, a realist a pessimist and a pessimist commit suicide.

I packed so much that I am now an expert on tapes. I know which tape brands are best and which tape brands don’t work. By the way, never buy “First” tape.

I packed so much that Pac man should now be called Pac Fatima.

Oh, I also have to mention that we didn’t have a TV for about 5 days. Seeing that we were technologless I had to do other things to have fun. Here are some of things we did:

• A puppet show: (There’s supposed to be a video here but for some unknown stupid reason I can’t upload it)

I started drawing. I used to draw and paint a lot but for some reason I stopped. I also started a game where I let everyone who was in our house draw a dancing animal. It started out as a game then I thought I could post the pictures here and let you vote on which ones you like best. So now it’s a contest. I call it

I’ll keep the people who drew these anonymous and will call every one of them an “artist” from now on.
Oh, and I’d like to apologize for the pictures’ resolution. We still didn’t set up our scanner.

Our first artist drew a dancing butterfly. It was very hard to convince him/her to draw something at first because he/she said that he/she couldn’t draw. But everyone is an artist and we finally convinced him/her to draw a dancing animal of his/her choice.

“This is how the horses in Egypt dance.” – Artist

Wise words artist, wise words.

This is one funky cat.

Apparently, all our dancing animals are in a disco.

Notice the:

• Swinging teats.
• Ring on her left hand.
• Hidden Mickey.

Here our artist drew a Filipino Porcupine. He/She called him “Q Da Porcupine”.

“Eeebry boody DANCE”
Translation: Everybody dance.
“To da beat”
Translation: To the beat.
“Shake dat a**! OY!”
Translation: Shake that a**! OY!

Here our artist drew a… err… big cat.
CHA CHA CHA!

And last, but definitely not least, our artist discovered (… or invented) a new fish species!

The Bamboo Fish.
This species can be found in the Purple Sea. It travels with a disco ball hanging over it all the time and it can speak. Its vocabulary consists of three words: “Yeah”, “Dance” and “Uha”.

Please VOTE for your favorite master piece in the comment section.

• Saw my friends whom I missed so much.
• Ate a looooot of food.
• Read. Has anyone noticed how lovely the weather is at night? I stayed in the balcony and kept reading until the sun came out.
• Unpacked!
• Spent time with my lovely family:

• Baked a delicious strawberry tart:

It tastes better than it looks.

I burned two fingers while doing this, nothing new. Only this time, only one finger was mine. Sorry Muneera <3.

In the end, I actually enjoyed the future I dreaded.
Moral of the story(ies):

1. You won’t die without the internet.
2. Never move.

THE END.

TTFN.

You Don’t Know Me. You Know Of Me. (Take 2)

Since I figured out that most of you people know almost all of the things that I wrote in the last post I decided to do a new one. I’m really hoping you don’t know at least 50% of these. If you do then that just means I talk too much. Anyway, are here the 13 things I really really hope you don’t know about me:

1. I have scoliosis. It’s nothing severe Al-Humdellah but I do have it. I don’t really like bringing it up but drastic things call for drastic measures.
2. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. I’ve won two gold medals in two tournaments and a “Best Female Player” once. I’ve also made two girls cry in one of those tournaments. And I only feel bad about making one of them cry.
3. I almost always have a red nose. People stop me in the hallway and ask me if I have a cold all year round. And I say “almost always” because when I really do have a cold my nose’s color isn’t red. My sister Dana calls me Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
4. I enjoy ironing clothes and doing the laundry.
5. We recycle. I always feel bad when I throw paper in the normal garbage can.
6. I am very very lame. I laugh at lame jokes and make even lamer ones.
7. I tried to make Luqaymat this Ramadan… I failed miserably. I think yeast hates me.
8. I am currently in love with buttermilk (Laban). I am now drinking my fifth cup.
9. I know how to do the moonwalk. No, that’s not true. But I like convincing myself I can. I also get offended when someone tells me I can’t.
10. I am horrible at imitating other Arabic accents. And I sometimes can’t understand Egyptians.
11. I can make my tongue touch my nose. I can also make a tongue flower. I made that word up, I hope you know what I mean.
12. I eat tomatoes the way people eat apples.
13. I have a beard.

Okay, that’s not true either. It’s just really hard to write 13 things you people don’t know about me. “I have a beard” was one of the numerous things my sister suggested me to write down, along with “I have freakishly tiny ears” and “In the year 2040 I’m going to be the first Saudi Arabian president”.

P.S. I’ll no longer end my posts with a question. Questions are there to be answered. Yet somehow, my questions never get answered (except for a few people who did answer them. Thank you Sara A and Bassam <3). So please DON’T write three things I don’t know about you.

TTFN.

You Don’t Know Me. You Know Of Me.

… or maybe you do. Anyway, here are 12 things I hope you don’t know about me:

1. I seldom cry. I don’t cry over a movie or a book, even when I really really want to. I don’t cry when I get hurt (bumping into glass doors, tripping over boxes, basketballs hitting my face…) And I don’t cry when I’m sad. But I do cry over one thing. And that is when someone does something to me that I don’t deserve, something unjust. Even though I try as much I can not to! My mother used to say, “Stop crying or you’ll run out of tears.” When I was younger. I’m starting to think she was right…
2. I like eating scrambled eggs with pita bread (Arabic bread) and use ketchup as its dip.
3. I always have cold hands and feet. And they’re small! My shoes now fit my 10 year-old sister.
4. I consider anything with pepper spicy.
5. I’m a hopeless romantic.
6. I used to talk in a Filipino accent when I first learned English. I also memorized a few Filipino songs.
7. I miss being five years-old.
8. I have a very big imagination. This is sometimes great. And sometimes not. Like when someone doesn’t answer their phone and I imagine something really bad happening to them (with the whole car crash/fire/murder scene playing in my head) then get really sad and worried.
9. I enjoy watching the news. When I hear the headlines from afar and hear something interesting I immediately rush to the TV.
10. I am VERY nosey and VERY curious. It might not show, but I am. I wonder about things I shouldn’t be wondering about…
11. I laugh when I make people laugh, even when I don’t really consider the thing I said as funny.
12. I empathize a lot. I even empathize with criminals, which is kind of weird but I can’t help it!

What are three things I don’t know about you?

TTFN.

This is Gladys From Austin, Texas

Ahh.. I love old people!

I’ll leave the commenting to you…

Oh.. And I’m kind of having trouble finding a topic to write about. Do you have suggestions?

TTFN.

Unfinished Business

As you all now, I have zero will power. I get all excited planning stuff but when the time comes I don’t do any of them. I made a to-do list for this summer. It consisted of about 20 things or so to do. It has been a month now and so far I’ve done about….. none. I can easily convince myself that this isn’t my fault and give out empty excuses. I’ve mastered that skill after 16 years of procrastinating. But the truth is… I know I’m just lazy. And after 16 years of procrastinating everything I can easily respond to every one of them too. Here’s a typical conversation that goes through my head. And yes, I do talk to myself:

1- Take the TOEFL test:

The Giving Out Excuses Fatima: I did register. But I didn’t have a credit card then. So I had to wait until Baba gave me his. When he finally did it was too late. All the seats were taken. See, not my fault.
The Knows She’s Lazy Fatima: Umm… August 8 isn’t the only test date they have Fatima. You know that right?
TGOEF: … I know. But that’s just why I didn’t register for August 8. I didn’t say I won’t register FOREVER.
TKSLF: Then what are you waiting for?
TGOEF: Well…
TGOEF: You see…
TGOEF: aa.. The thing is..
TGOEF: Okay nothing.

1-0

2- Study for the SATs:

The Giving Out Excuses Fatima: I’m planning on doing that, really. It’s just that I need to rest a little. I’ve been studying non-stop for 8 months. One month of rest is normal. I deserve this. Plus, I have two more months to study!
The Knows She’s Lazy Fatima: Non-stop, really? There hasn’t even been an hour of you studying non-stop!
TKSLF: Anyway, that’s not our issue right now.
TKSLF: Remember when you opened the SAT book and couldn’t even answer one question? And when you were born with a memory of a goldfish and could never memorize all those definitions?
TKSLF: Yeah, two months aren’t enough. I’m sorry. Besides, you’ll probably procrastinate that too.
TGOEF: But it’s soooooo boring. And hard!
TKSLF: Yeah.. I know

1-1
What? I know I’m lazy.

3- Start a book club:

The Giving Out Excuses Fatima: Technically we did start one. So I can cross that out…
The Knows She’s Lazy Fatima: You know what a book club is right? Buying a book and then never having a meeting doesn’t mean you started a book club.
TGOEF: I know…
TKSLF: …..
TGOEF: Where did we put that eraser again?

2-1

4- Exercise:

The Giving Out Excuses Fatima: I’m planning on doing this too. It’s just that I hate treadmills. You walk and walk and walk but never go anywhere! Where’s the fun in that?
The Knows She’s Lazy Fatima: FATIMA! What about your dream of being a hyper 80 year-old? What happened to that? You have to start exercising now!
TGOEF: Ahh.. I know.
TGOEF: Okay…
TGOEF: I will.
TKSLF: Starting…?
TGOEF: After tomorrow?
TKSLF: ?????
TKSLF: Ahh.. Who am I kidding. Okay, fair enough.

2-2

So in the end we conclude….. I will never change. I should hire a personal anti-procrastinator, a person who would follow me and force me to do everything on time. Someone like my Math teacher would be perfect.

Tell me something you planned on doing this summer but never did. And then go do it! (please?)

TTFN.

Commercials

I always hate when commercials come on in the middle of a TV show I’m watching. I hate them not because they’re long or because I want to see what happens next but because the Arab world doesn’t know how to make any good commercials! And when they do do a good one we go all Ga-Ga-Go-Go over it. Remember Zain’s last Ramadan commercial?

Anyway, I’ve always loved watching great commercials and though I’d share some with you. Here are a few good ones:

1- HSBC: Lumberjack

2- Penguins-BBC

3- Alcohol Know Your Limits – Binge drinking boy

4- Skoda Fabia Advert – Original Cake Car

5- Boom De Ya Da!

6- Test Your Awareness: Do The Test

7- The Economist RED WIRES

8- Fonecta: Immigrant

9- Levi’s Straight Walk

10- Pepsi Max: Octopus

11- Vodafone commercial – May fly

TTFN.

Just Another Day in the Year

I’ve never been the kind of person who gets mad, feels neglected or not loved when someone forgets her birthday. It’s just a day, another day in a year where I just happened to be born. But nonetheless, just a day.

Now, some of you may disagree full heartedly with me but let’s take a moment and ponder…

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Now that you’ve pondered, let me tell you why I think it’s just another day in the year.  I mean, think about it, all we did is just come out of our mother’s womb. Nothing special. We just came out. And it’s not like we came out in a spectacular way or something… It’s not like we came out doing cartwheels and dancing the Macarena while cooking a five star meal with one hand. We just came out. It’s as simple as that. So why are you congratulating me?

But you know who the real heroes are? Our mothers. They’re the ones who suffered all that pain. They’re the ones who endured 12 hours of labor. They’re the ones who stayed up all night because we wouldn’t stop crying. And they’re the ones who had to start playing the guessing game, “Now let’s see… Fatima is crying. She might be hungry, cold, hot, full, cranky, sleepy, hurt………”

So next time it’s your birthday go thank your mom and tell her, “Happy Giving-Birthday!” She deserves it.

TTFN.